It's been a real hoot
Watching you grow up
Taking those first few steps
Learning all the right moves
The essential social tweets
Makeup and expression just right
in your selfies
I am like so VERY flattered
You obviously made ME
your role model
What? You didn't?
You're joking, right?
If I believed you, I would have to say
Your self-directed success is
S.O. T.O.T.A.L.L.Y. A.W.E.S.O.M.E!
A milestone birthday!
And have I ever been busy
Tweeting the exact year number
And snapchatting my wrinkles as yours
To the listening and watching world
I bet 200 of our closest friends already know
You are (suddenly and untruthfully) ahem, ahem!
Now three years older than me!
Enjoy the heck out of your notoriety!
Okay, so I got you a little something
for your birthday
I know, it's not much
But I spent WAY MORE than I planned to
Since the small size
Was out of stock
At the DOLLAR STORE!
Happy Birthday from one El-cheapo to another!
As we get older
I realize you've been there for me
Thanks for being such a great sister
I wish you
The happiest birthday
Found a way to bankroll us, Sis
You know all our heart-to-heart chats
Over the years?
All those selfies
In awkward poses?
The soap opera stuff of our lives?
You'll never believe
What the tabloid paid me!!!