Humorous Birthday Card Poems, Verses, and Sayings

by Sally Jennings

Someone you know is having a birthday! Balloons, birthday cake and ice cream, maybe some punch to drink, perhaps a few presents, and laughter all make a good birthday party. How nice to give a card with a funny verse for a giggle or two. Maybe you'll find that splash of humorous birthday verse below, to get the birthday celebration off to a good start. There are even a few birthday verses of wittier humor for someone you know really, really, well.

You may use our free Humorous Birthday verses, poems and sayings on cards, in letters and notes, emails, scrapbooks, or speeches - wherever you need them. Choose a verse below, personalize it, or use it as a starter prompt to write your own verse. Please respect our copyright and don't use these commercially or republish them online.

Greeting Card Home
Adoption
Anniversary
Baby
More Baby Poems
Bon Voyage
Boomer Birthday
Christmas
Employee Appreciation
Father's Day
Get Well
Graduation
Halloween
Humorous Birthday
Job Loss
Mother's Day
New Home
Retirement
Summer Camp
Sympathy
Thank You Caregiver
Tooth Fairy
Valentine
Wedding

Heck no, you're not
   a blast from the past
      yet...
Give it One More Year!
Happy Birthday!

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Having a birthday is like
   winning the lottery
Lay low for a few days
   and...
Never divulge
   the exact number!

Happy Birthday

Since you won't tell me your age
I searched your name online
   for date of birth
It found 1885
Wow,that can't be right...
I was off by ten years!!!
Happy Birthday

================

You know how this department
   is a stickler for exact numbers
   and following proceedures to the letter
      so...
When the Fire Department has arrived
and not one second before
   you may light
ALL
   the candles
      on your cake!
Happy Birthday

================

Birthday Formula:
Your exact age minus
   10 for being so nice
   20 for telling funny jokes
   30 for every cheery 'Good Morning'
   40 for your smile
Gosh!
   You've gone below zero!
Happy Birthday

================

Kind of hate to tell you this
We're so sorry it happened
Too late now, but...
Our post of your birthday stats...
Yup, VIRAL!
Happy Birthday...um...from the whole planet

================

I have to hold this card tightly shut...
[Hey, keep it down in there]
There's something
   we've been meaning to tell you...
[Hey, keep it down in there]
But we thought maybe
   you had already guessed...
[Hey keep it down in there]
Well, if you really must open it...
We invited all our little avatars
   to join us in wishing you
   A happy birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

================

Today's Breaking News:
Thanks to the wonders of modern science
A very, very expensive present
With your exact name on it
   has been spotted...
Thirteen billion light years away!
Happy birthday anyway!

================

I know just where your birthday cake will end up
Hips first
Thighs second
Tummy third...
Happy Birthday to a growing girl!

================

We promise not to tell a soul
   how old you are today
But it's too late
   to un-tweet
   how old you were yesterday
Happy Birthday

================

[CASH OR GIFT CERTIFICATE]
Some fool appointed me birthday spokesperson
Now let's see if I can get this right:

Happy Birthday and...
   there is no time to buy presents...
NO! that can't be right

Happy Birthday and...
   the present is no time to buy...
NO! that's not it either

Happy Birthday and...
   we didn't buy a present this time!
Yeah, that's right!

Instead, here's a little something
To pick one out yourself!
Enjoy!

================

Here's to someone who is
One year better
One year wiser
And like me
One year wider!
Happy Birthday

================

Okay, so I missed big time winnings
Not laying a bet the day you were born
You'd make it this far
You are HOW OLD???
Happy Birthday

================

So this is your big day
And this is your fancy birthday dinner
And we are all sitting around stuffed
Fuller than pigs at the trough
Wondering if we have room left for the cake
What can I say?
Happy BURP*day!
BELCH wishes!

================

Happy Birthday!
I could tell the world
   how old you are...
But I'd rather be paid NOT to
Cash would be fine.

================

Happy Birthday
to one of earth's
most ancient creatures!

================

A stegosaurus eats greens
A tyrannosaurus eats meat
A birthday YOUasaurus eats cake!
Happy, happy, happy!

================

So sorry I forgot your birthday
But I still know my name!
And, um,...well...
Happy Birthday, What's Your Name!

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Copyright 2010-2012 Sally Jennings www.Speak-Read-Write.com