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Since you won't tell me your age
I searched your name online
for date of birth
It found 1885
Wow,that can't be right...
I was off by ten years!!!
Happy Birthday
================
You know how this department
is a stickler for exact numbers
and following proceedures to the letter
so...
When the Fire Department has arrived
and not one second before
you may light
ALL
the candles
on your cake!
Happy Birthday
================
Birthday Formula:
Your exact age minus
10 for being so nice
20 for telling funny jokes
30 for every cheery 'Good Morning'
40 for your smile
Gosh!
You've gone below zero!
Happy Birthday
================
Kind of hate to tell you this
We're so sorry it happened
Too late now, but...
Our post of your birthday stats...
Yup, VIRAL!
Happy Birthday...um...from the whole planet
================
I have to hold this card tightly shut...
[Hey, keep it down in there]
There's something
we've been meaning to tell you...
[Hey, keep it down in there]
But we thought maybe
you had already guessed...
[Hey keep it down in there]
Well, if you really must open it...
We invited all our little avatars
to join us in wishing you
A happy birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
================
Today's Breaking News:
Thanks to the wonders of modern science
A very, very expensive present
With your exact name on it
has been spotted...
Thirteen billion light years away!
Happy birthday anyway!
================
I know just where your birthday cake will end up
Hips first
Thighs second
Tummy third...
Happy Birthday to a growing girl!
================
We promise not to tell a soul
how old you are today
But it's too late
to un-tweet
how old you were yesterday
Happy Birthday
================
[CASH OR GIFT CERTIFICATE]
Some fool appointed me birthday spokesperson
Now let's see if I can get this right:
Happy Birthday and...
there is no time to buy presents...
NO! that can't be right
Happy Birthday and...
the present is no time to buy...
NO! that's not it either
Happy Birthday and...
we didn't buy a present this time!
Yeah, that's right!
Instead, here's a little something
To pick one out yourself!
Enjoy!
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Here's to someone who is
One year better
One year wiser
And like me
One year wider!
Happy Birthday
================
Okay, so I missed big time winnings
Not laying a bet the day you were born
You'd make it this far
You are HOW OLD???
Happy Birthday
================
So this is your big day
And this is your fancy birthday dinner
And we are all sitting around stuffed
Fuller than pigs at the trough
Wondering if we have room left for the cake
What can I say?
Happy BURP*day!
BELCH wishes!
================
Happy Birthday!
I could tell the world
how old you are...
But I'd rather be paid NOT to
Cash would be fine.
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Happy Birthday
to one of earth's
most ancient creatures!
================
A stegosaurus eats greens
A tyrannosaurus eats meat
A birthday YOUasaurus eats cake!
Happy, happy, happy!
================
So sorry I forgot your birthday
But I still know my name!
And, um,...well...
Happy Birthday, What's Your Name!
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